Running as medicine in times of uncertainty

I kicked off 2020 with a boost of energy and motivation unlike any I have felt in a long time. This was the year I was going to spend endless days in the mountains again, racing and doing my own projects. I was going to travel to new countries, explore new trails and peaks. I was beginning to feel strong and fit again after a 2019 of being injured and limited in terms of what I could do as an athlete. Nothing was going to stop me this time, and I had even started working with a new training plan that was going to help me perform at Ehunmilak 50 miles in Spain this July.

But that race got canceled the other day. Just like most races, events and pretty much everything that many of us have been anticipating, waiting and working hard for. These races are often the symbols of our dreams and goals that we have planned and prepared for — mentally and physically — possibly for a long time already. And now, all of a sudden… Nothing?

You all know it as much as I do: Health is always the top priority. As a runner, you can’t perform well — or even be genuinely happy — if you don’t have your health in place first. If your feet are not grounded first, you don’t have a foundation from where you can start aiming higher.

And the same goes for these times – health is the number one priority. I think we can all agree on that, but it doesn’t necessarily make things easier. Sure, we can stay away from other people, not travel, and wash our hands. We can only do our best and also hope for the best. But it doesn’t take away the fact that we are human, we are vulnerable, we hurt, and we get terrified when we don’t know what is going to happen from one day to the next. How do we respond to that uncertainty?

When I heard that my race had been canceled, it was as if I shifted focus from one second to the other. I get it, it feels kind of crazy to think or act one way in terms of training one day, and then completely differently the next. Usually, shifts in focus as an athlete require planning and preparation — changing the way you train is not just something you do overnight. At least not for me. But we are living in pretty crazy times, so why don’t I get a little crazy too?

So how do I deal with the uncertainty? The fact is that not having a goal within a specified future to work strictly toward, has given me the perfect opportunity to focus more on something completely different from just peak performance: the joy in running. The races can wait, and anyway there is not much to do about the situation. So why not make the best of it? Now is the perfect time to focus purely on just running out of joy, based on how I am feeling in this moment. There are no expectations, no musts. Just being, putting one foot in front of the other. Listening to the breath and the sounds around me. Witnessing another beautiful spring in full bloom. Smiling, because I can run. I am healthy.

So this past week, I have experimented with not following my training plan strictly, and instead started focusing more on what I feel like doing right now. I am not over-thinking about how beneficial this training will really be for my upcoming race, or if I should probably be doing something else instead. Each morning when I wake up or before I head out the door for a run I ask myself the question: What do I feel like doing today? Do I feel like going for a long run? Then I’ll go for a long run. Do I sense a strong urge to do some fast intervals on the track? Then I’ll run around that track until my muscles are screaming and my head is empty. Yes, just for the fun of it. Because I can. Because I am healthy.

All is well.

/Jënni